Unemployment 2.0

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I took two days off of the Blog Every Day in May challenge and I don’t feel like making them up.  But I do feel emotionally tied to today’s prompt of talking about a current struggle in my life.

Today, exactly one year after I graduated with my masters degree, I filed for unemployment and didn’t go to the job that helped define me for the past three months.

In 365 days, I went from being happy and in wonder for what my life was going to hold to being downtrodden about the economy, the government, and my future.

It was a rough journey to have found my last job.  I worked two part-time jobs to attempt to pay bills and keep myself afloat financially.  (That didn’t work well for a bit.)  I saw dream jobs go to others, and found that the jobs that I thought I would be perfect for weren’t mine to take.  When I landed my former job, I was thrilled.  I missed working with youth.  I wanted to create a lasting impact and turn a children’s department from nothing to a welcome environment for all.  I, thankfully, was able to leave behind an impact on some of my patrons and helped develop a great collection development strategy.

But I was laid off due to the lack of funding for my position.  I didn’t realize I was on such a limited term employment when I was hired.  I had no idea there was an end date that everyone seemed to know about but me.  I had no idea the business may have had some financial issues.  I realized there were issues early on, and didn’t choose to ignore them.  I worked hard in my job and at night, I looked for jobs elsewhere.

I have a long list of jobs I have applied to.  I have filed for unemployment benefits to assist in the bill paying I have in the coming months.  I have two job interviews this week, and am hopeful for more positive work-related news in the coming weeks.  I’ve had supportive friends, family, and bloggers who have given advice and suggestions for employment opportunities.

I won’t be unemployed for long, know that.  But I am going to take an hour a day to take a long walk or run, spend out in the sun, and work on making myself as happy and healthy as possible as I wait for the job offers to pour in.  That’s how it works, right?

Laughter

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via: scotty perry photography

This is my all-time favorite photo of myself.  I am with two of my closest friends, laughing over fresh cheese curds and enjoying time together for Jessi’s wedding.

This captures my essence, my spirit, and my humor.  Completely unplanned, this candid shot is so wonderful.

Thank you, Jenni, for this Blog Every Day in May prompt!

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My Lot in Life

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I have been beyond blessed to have such a wonderfully loving and supportive family.  Not all are as lucky as I am and I reflect upon that frequently.

My difficulty in life is definitely dealing with mental illness.  Having diagnosed depression and anxiety has not been easy, but the most challenging aspect has definitely been the negative stigma attached to mental illness.

Despite almost 25 percent of the nation having been diagnosed with a mental illness, I feel at times I cannot be truthful and honest about my life.  I keep this fact as hidden as possible from people when meeting them, and try to avoid the conversation at all costs when trying to forge a romantic relationship.  At times, I feel like damaged goods, that I’m imperfect and unworthy.

But those times are not the majority, thank goodness.  I have found the strength to go to a doctor to deal with my anxiety and realized that taking medication for depression does not give me an artificial happiness.  Quite the contrary; I can finally feel the happiness I knew so long ago as a child.

I write a lot about my experiences with anxiety and depression not because I want attention or pity.  Actually, this is one of the parts of me I try to hide the most.  I write because I want others to know that it is okay to ask for help.  In fact, it makes you smart enough to know yourself and strong to know when enough is enough.

My life’s difficulty is manageable.  It allows me to appreciate the positive aspects of my health and life.

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